Aaron’s Blog!!

One day I decided to quit…
quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality… I wanted to quit
my life. I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
"God", I asked, "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"

His answer surprised me…
"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"

"Yes", I replied.

"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good
care of them.  I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on
the bamboo." He said.

"In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.  But I would not quit.  In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would not quit." He said.

"Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.  Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant…But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.  It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.  I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."

He asked me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots". "I would not quit on the bamboo.
I will never quit on you."
"Don’t compare yourself to others."
He said.
"The bamboo had a different Purpose than the fern.  Yet they both make the forest beautiful."
"Your time will come", God said to me.
"You will rise high"

"How high should I rise?" I asked.

"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.

"As high as it can?" I questioned.

"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."

I left the forest and brought back this story.
I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.  Never, Never, Never Give up. For the Christian Prayer is not an option but an opportunity.
Don’t tell the Lord how big the problem is, tell the problem how Great the Lord is!
Heavens door open this morning, God asked me… My CHILD…  what can I do for you?" and I said "Daddy please protect and bless the one reading this message.

    I finally understood what it means to really have the fire to Follow God. And honestly, I feel that mine is fading.. It is not God who is leaving me, but the other way around. And my heart is really filled with sorrow.. How can this be? From a man who was so passionate to serve God, to worship Him, to pray to Him and to reach out to people for Him to a man who is sleeps in on Sundays and busy finishing his assignments then praying and serving…
    I really do feel ashamed when I thought of this… It might not be fading but static… I am so not sure… But I do know one thing, I feel so isolated, so cold, so tiring… I need You Lord… I wanna come back into your life. I can still feel you holding my hands and blessing me with many things, especially making friends and finishing my assignments in time.. You gave me strength, You gave me love.. You gave me beautiful places to see and to experience the life to be an architect. But I gave nothing back.. I feel so bad. So guilty, my conscience is ripping me apart.. Conscience  is the thing that  u  instilled in me the  most.   Its  my character,  its who  I am…

Lord I pray, HUMBLY pray… that you show me the light, show me the way, back into the streets of Gold, your precious path of love, kindness, fellowship and prayer… Be with me I pray in the time when I need you the most. Amen..

Life, does anyone take it seriously these days? Do they take it as a game? As a whatever la…. You get my point. Those who smoke, drink (Alcohol till they are wasted), doing drugs, gambling, joining senseless gangs, get into fight or imprisoned are those who I think are wasting their precious lives. Isn’t it to see that while they are sorta "enjoying" themselves, it is those who are close to them that are suffering the most. Seeing your love one wasting their life away is just heart breaking.

    Life to me, has been challenging, happy, sad, understanding…….. Many more usual emotions we feel each day. Life is Love: God gave us all people who care for us and who loves us. Even if there are no humans loving us, Our Heavenly Father still loves us very very very very much. No matter how we threat ourselves.  Sometimes we are the ones who don’t want to open our eyes to see that God already send people into our lives and that they love us. A dad might be fierce but thats how he show he loves us. He wants to be someone in the society, in the world so that we can survive in the future. A mother might nag but thats just cause they care. They wan to ensure you don’t repeat the stupid thing you just did.  Brothers and sisters quarrel because it teaches you that there are many people in the world that are like your brother or your sister so you need to learn to control your temper and your cool.

Ok,till this point I do hope you understand what I am getting at.  Another thing bout life is that many people complains bout it. Bout how they don’t have a Girl/Boy-friend, bout school (the teachers and principal), bout College life (assignments, not enough sleep,bla bla bla… I myself doing that), bout work… and the list goes on…Is that all life have to give? Complaint? I don’t think so. If life is just full of complaints then it is is plainly said sucks!

    For me, life should be positive and be full. Not full of crap, but of joy, contentment and of the happiness of having friends and family. And getting that natural high… Yep, you can get high on happiness and of the joy around you. No need any drugs or alcohol to do that for me. I don’t mean that you can’t drink but do not drink till u go mabuk and laughing your head of and doing stupid things.  People think that natural high is very hard to achieve.. The secret to it is as my course-mates say.. BE POSITIVE,TEAM POSITIVE.. and the whole class will laugh like crazy.. Yep, Be positive in life.. When troubles come your way, SCREAM IT OUT!! just for a minute, Calm down then get on with life… Smile and say, I AM OKAY!!

    Another thing is supposed to be not boring…. God created this world so that you have many things to do… You don’t need money to have fun.. Learn a skill or something. Read, write, draw, online…. Don’t keep saying that everything is boring. *SLAP* Wake up…. Do something useful for a change… And I don’t mean flirting or making babies……. Unless you are married that is.. Learn how to cook or bake. Come on guys!! You can do it… Gals, you don’t have a choice… Blerkz…

    My advise for this entry is to be positive, enjoy life and not destroying it… Alcohol can lead to death… Thats what I learn this week… And the devastation that it brings… To both the family and friends…

So till my next entry… God bless…. Oh yea… This blog will be mainly used for thoughts. For how I am.. Visit http://aaroncwl.blogspot.com/

Wat the heck?!!! I just started my 2nd semester in Taylors and my laptop gone bonkers and seriously… BONKERS!!!! 1st, there was the Virus problem, then the keyboard got problem, then now….. now….. I dunno wth is wrong…. Geezz…. I move it a bit and the whole thing jams and hangs there….. and then hard to restart some more…. NO laptop=cant do research=deep trouble…. argh……
    2nd of all, my schedule have at least changed three times…. Three times…… and also… i didnt get exempted from englishh….. haihzzzzz… but wat the hay, i still only have four subjects. Better than in Secondary sch where i got ten subjects which i totally dun get sometimes, besides english, and history and math a and est…. (none to do with science). I didnt expect to have assignments so early in the semester. My first group assignment is to built a tower, a min of 300mm high and about an A3 size wide out of balsa woos(soft and light wood…. seriously… very light) and a person about 50 kg must stand on it… and the tower must not fall. Even if it falls, we wont fail but have to do a report on why our structure fell… Exciting??? haha… next assignment is to prepare a presentation on a famous building or any building and do research on it, critic,praise,…. you name it… then we have to do a visual presentation on an architect… and this… is my third week back in col only…. imagine the other work i have to do…. HAHA….
    The hardest part for me now is to cooperate with my team(s) in order to get a good grade… and i am up to it…. NOw, i need God’s divine power to give me patience(which i lack recently), will power to succeed, calmness and a stress free mind….. Pray for me please…. Before i go nuts……..

    Well,this blog goes out to all those who are wondering what is maturity and whether they are mature or not.  This is my thoughts ok? and it mayb or may not be a good advise but do please listen to wat i gotta say.
    Some ppl might think that how people act is the way to judge a person’s maturity.  BUt for me, this has nothing to do with maturity. I can act childish in front of my friends or little kids just to have fun. SOme might call me immature but the point is,i might not act like this in front  of others that either are older than me, the people i respect or those who do not me.  SO in contrast,these people will think that i am mature for my age and so on.  U see where i am getting at?  I remember one pastor preached about this b4 , that we humans wear many layers of mask. 
Its not right for us to do so but we are humans, we are not perfect. BUt we need to beware that the mask we are wearing will not bring us to our downfall.
    Who we compare ourself with is also not one way to tell our maturity. Yep, thats true. Wanna know y? Hmm… let me think how i shud explain this properly. While learning english last year,i learned form my lecturer that we only see what we wanna see and hear what we wanna hear. We will block off the things that we do not agree with and forget about it. I agree with that.  Every time i try to negotiate or ask for advise, i only agree with the ones that i myself think is right and totally ignore the others which sometimes seem harder. Its the same with actions.  We sometimes only see the negative side of a person and not see the complete package. SOmetimes we see from our first expression that the person is childish and bla bla bla, everything negative but fail to see his mature side. True?
    Another one, age does not influence maturity. Maybe a little but not completely… Ppl always associate me as :"Wow, u r turning 20 d, very mature oh, all grown up oh."  My gosh, i havent even finish my degree programme. Mayb i am a bit mature because of responsibilities but when u take away those responsibilities, u will see a child in me, still love to play, to have fun…… and etc.  I still love to go online and chit chat and what so ever… You can also see it in adults, u give them a night free from their children and work and u see, drunken, laughing adults… This is so true you know. No kidding. U can see some "Datuk" who is rich and famous hanging out with young gals and they are looked up too… Get my point? HAHA…correct me if i am wrong.
    OK, here is what i think being mature is. Being mature is knowing when to do the right thing, to know when to act what age, to play when its time to play, to take responsibilities and equal their time to do do other things besides work and home.  Being mature is of course being wise. Being wise in what a person can be write in their blog, being careful not to hurt anyone, being careful not to hurt ppl with our actions, being careful not to hurt ppl with our words.  That is what it takes to be mature. For me that is….

P.s.: imagine those who suffer from old ppl syndrome, who act like children all over again… THey might once be considered mature…. OH OH OH… it doesnt mean i am mature by writing this blog….. blerkz

    Its almost 3 am and yes, this has became accustomed for me to sleep so late.  I have class at 8 later.  The problem is, i cant sleep.  Due to the the mountain load of assignments, i have to stay up this late for the past one month.  Guiltyly to say, i haven been to church for 3 weeks and i am kinda feeling guilty.  The weekends are the only time i get to sleep as long as i want but that i also couldn’t achieve.  The constant stress is keeping me awake and my natural body alarm only allows me to sleep at the max of 6 hours and i decided to just continue doing my assignments.  No i did not put my assignments to the last minute.  I just have lots to do.  Been praying about it.. Asked God to forgive me for being so weak in faith and also negletingto read his word.. This is one of the guilt which i cant let go off. Please pray for me..
    Thank God that he finally helped me by letting me keep my nerves and i got to finish two of my so called major assignments. Another two to finish and one is due this friday.. I instilled in my mind that no matter what, i am going to church this sunday. Not of duty but because i long for theword and also for the fellowshipthat i dearly missed. I haven been to close with anyone yet and am still considered as anew comer.  I had to tell myself not to get too involved. Is that bad? I am so comfused in this matter for i am so caught up in my assignments.. SOmeone please help me….
    Oh yea, i finally got the time to listen to Christian music again and it gave methe joy and peace that i love so much. SOmetimes while driving, i will blast some of the christian song like take it all. HAHA… it feels so much better after singing it.  Holidays is still weeks away. Please come faster…  but if it does come faster, means my exam is near too… oh no…..  But who cares… Only one paper…
    Hmmm… while i am so bz, I found that this song is so calming. Heard it at Acts… meaningful, powerful and encouraging…. Its called assuredly yours

Assuredly Yours (Key B-C)
Paradise Live - Set Me Free

Verse
All that I am is in You
All that I seek is to follow You
I run to Your side when You call
There is the hope I am longing for

PreChorus
Just to be by your side
There is hope in my life
There is no greater freedom I’ve found

Chorus
Take my life
And all that I have to give
Take my world
Just inhabit all of it
Take my dreams
Make me assuredly Yours

And indeed i am assurely Gods.. It does soundlike a love song, i admit,but it is a love song to God.. FOr me, that is the most important. LOVE the pre-chorus, there is indeed hope in my life and God’s love is beyond everything..  BEing bz from God made me realize something, everytime i feel even more burdened or stressed, he send angles to help me and encourage me.. For example, my mum who surprisingly call me to take a break and go out to have fun or my girlfriend who insists that i get a good nights rest and take abreak once in awhile and not to engross myself in my assignments. And also bryan and geraldine, who makes me laugh with their jokes and actions.  It helps. And i feel that that is the sign from God that he is there caring for me. OH yea.. and friends like Cheng Ing and Patricia who keeps inviting me back to church…(I will go,dun worry) and also lea,who send me a website for a daily dose of God’s word… HAHA… just realized, this is all God’s work and i just noticed. Weird huh, how God works in our life. Well,this is one ofmy testimonies.. Pray for me as always and i do appreciate that.. God bless u all, those who are praying for me. u can msg me if u have any prayer request. Or send me bible quotes which inspires u. Mayb that will helpme with getting daily doses of God’s word.. Thanks..

Love,
Aaron

Dear God,
    I pray for delicate hands like urs.. Take away all the strength when i am drawing so the tip of my expensive pen wouldn’t be bent till i cant use it… U created all things so delicately and so beautifully (hem hem… like the beautiful ppl u put in my life). I just pray that my hands will be soft (not the niang type) but a pair of hands so that i can create wonderful buildings (not like the apartments which fell in Malaysia - Not blaming anyone).
    Lord, change my stubby, short fingers.  From one’s which creates dissaterous models


>>>>> like this one

Into beautiful and unique buildings…….

>>> like these…

    Lord, sometimes I wonder am I getting it right. Its hard really. But instill the positiveness into my mind.. Dun allow praises to raise me above the clouds but to humble meso that i can do better.. Also remind me that What I think is nice to me might not beto my lecturers.. HAHA… Well, tats life huh? I cant please everyone… I pray for a creative mind beyond all wonders so that i can design smth which can wowwwww not just me but to everyone in the world.. But please not to woe anyone.
    I understand it is the path u r leading me into O’  LOrd… Dun Leave my side.. Oh wait… U wont… I pray that "I" will not leave u… U r my guide….

Thanks…
Aaron.
With love… ;P

WOw… I had to do an assignment where i need to be inspired by a painting of the 20th century and create three of my very own… not so easy… but i need to feel proud of my work… *nose high*.. ok.. Enough. Bring it back down. Here are what the painting means… if u see the pic and wonder what the heck i am painting.. But try to imagine before looking at the explanation.. Enjoy.

Postcard # 1 of 3: The Dream

In the painting “The Enigma of Desire”, by Salvador Dali,
the rock with hollows, is the
central element of another painting of Dali, “Oedipus Complex” (1930). For me,
it means the focus for a person or what the person is focusing on. The brain, which is a representation of the
physical brain, is pulled apart to show some of the things I am focusing on.
Such as, the signboard which writes society means that I am focusing on getting
accepted into the world and get to know people better, the graduation hat and
the certificate represents me getting myself an education so that I can find a
job in the future. The two roads and the
clock shows that my future is my focus and that sometimes in life when there
are decision to make, I need to be focused on what I want and make the
decisions that are needed. The
heart shape that flows shows that I am focusing and learning about my
relationship with my family and those who I keep of importance of. With the dream-like effects, it shows that
sometimes my focus is just a dream if I do not go for it. So it is just a reminder for me that I am not
living in a dream but in reality.

Postcard # 2 of 3: The Way

Salvador Dali’s Shows great importance of his parents in his
painting. The complex use of shells,
insects, rocks and hollows in Dali’s painting shows the complex feelings he had
for his mother who was devoted to him and also at the bottom left of the
picture shows that

Salvador

was
hugging his dad. For my painting, the
complexity shows that the devotion my parents gave to me. Hidden behind all the colours and shapes,
there is a symbol showing my parents hugging me with all their love. This shows how much my parents support me in
my education and trust me with the decisions I make for my future. Turning the
picture 360 degrees shows another hidden symbol where there are six people
which shows my whole family. For me,
family is not only people who are blood related but also my friends. Friends can help a person reach their goal and dream so without friends, it is
somehow harder to achieve. My family and
friends are my support in achieving my goal. They help me focus on my dreams and push me on to do the best I
can. As the saying goes: ‘It is better
to have friends than enemies.’

Postcard # 3 of 3: The Target

For my final piece, Freud commented that the presence of the lion head in the
Dali’s painting is :” sexual urges that a person is afraid of letting go.” But for me, a lion represents courage and
determination. Determined in not letting
their prey get away. The lion in my
painting signifies that I need to be determined in achieving my goals and
targets (as shown in the painting). The
arrow represents me, and that I am the one who needs to hit the bulls-eye. I can’t blame anyone for my failure but to
accept the fact that my efforts are not enough and that I need to do better.
Like a wild plant or tree in the forest or a habitat, it needs to strive to
grow. Competition for sunlight, water
and nutrients are crucial for a plant to survive. It is like our future nowadays. Where jobs are harder to find, rents have to
be paid, stomach to fill, family to raise, etc. , we need to work hard to survive
in our world today. That is why focusing
on our targets are very important. We
need to give our 100% to the company or to the society. No boss will want an employee to only be 60%
knowledgeable and where he/she needs to spend more money on. 

The
reason why this piece is in black and white is because it is a way to remind
myself that the society now believe that only those who have a higher
education, either a degree or masters, are those who are eligible to work. Once, experience and the willingness to work
will allow one to find a job but in the 21^st century, even plumbers and
electricians need to get a certificate in order to work (especially
overseas). That is why this piece is a
reminder for me that to reach my target, perseverance and determination is the
key to success. 

 The heart shape located in this
painting signifies that I need to love what I do to do it till the very best.

 In three of the paintings, a heart
shape can be founding each of them. This
is because I believe that love can affect people in their thinking and their
lives. We need people who care for us, who support us, to inspire us and to
push us. Love changes a person’s thinking of life and changes lives. Love became a theme in my life, to care for
peoples’ well-beings (the buildings I design), to assure comfort to those
living around me so I myself can be inspired by the people I helped.

Yea… i think that is all… Well, to see the pictures closer, u can see my pics in friendster.. HAve fun.. Give comments ya.. And sorry if the explanation is too deep.. I admit, i have been slacking with my english lately… well, back to reading for me.. God bless…

OKay… I mean driving in KL for like 2 months already and am getting used to it.. But this week i had to bring Bryan and Geraldine back from their part time job at KLCC Convention centre… Well, going there is the easy part… But coming back is a big mess, I ended up getting lost and we had to figure out how to get out of it.. No wonder they say that KL Roads are messy… One of the most uncoordinated one in ASEAN?? Maybe, i am not sure…
I dun blame them,look at their logo, THe LEMBAGA LEBUHRAYA MALAYSIA’s logo is a messy and uncoordinated like the highways… With all those curvy and winding lines.. NO wonder our roadsare a mess… HAih haih…something has to be done… Billions of dollars are being spent on these roads.. Can’t the goverment do anything about it?
    I think driving here for another two months will give me more white hairs than studying… Dunlike getting stuck inthe jam…Imagine staying in Sibu and complaining about the 5 minutes jam… KL is far far far more worse la… 30 minutes and i still am getting no where… Well, this is just a random blog… So its just smth i need to let out. HAHAHA………

WOW!!! Today is the 12th… Kyle’s BDay and the 2nd month since i got together with Sheau Wee.. WOW!! HAHA… OK to the first part of today’s entry….

KYLE’S BIRTHDAY!!!
    Wow, it was definately something new.. Very very new.. SOmething which needs to recorded in the birthday pranks and surprises.. WE WRAPPED HIS CAR or decorated more like it and he needs to drive it around KL for the day… MUAHAHA….. Its so funny.. It has "Happy Birthday (and a smiley)" on the hood of his car and ribbons. Behind is…… Ok nevermind… here are some photos… Judge for urself…            

MY 2nd MONTH WITH SHEAU WEE
    Wow… I feel a little bit proud.. Its been two months with my dear and we haven’t have any major arguments or whatever.. She is back in Sibu now, quite sad really.. Can’t look forward to seeing her on the weekends like what we have been doing.   Hmmm… I guess it will be another 2 months before I will be seeing her either in KL or in Sibu.. I can’t… Really really can’t wait for the day… I love her smile and laughter and also her voice.. Honestly.. her voice is like a little kid, very innocent… IN other words cute…
    Thank goodness she meeting my parents is not like the movie "Meet the Fockers" which is a disaster, but she actually clicked with my mum… I think.. I wasn’t there so i dunno.. Must be scary meeting my parents by herself..I am wondering what i will be like when i meet hers.. HAHA… hopefully my friendly face and chubby cheeks (mayb i will add in the puppy dogs eyes) will make them melt and accept me… HAHA… JOking Joking…. I am thinking to highly of myself now… CIssss…..

    HAHA… Assignments are plenty now… Fun, but tough… I dunno why, but i dun feel inspired by any of the buildings in KL.. The Curve have caught my eye but it doesn’t tell me…  WOWWWWW!!!!  GEt what i mean. But maybe its just that i am feeling tired after completing assignments after assignments… God help me… I think He is.. Yup He indeed it… My results are not that bad, my team is great, the ppl i meet are hardworking, fashionable, smart, helpful……… , lecturers are not boring me yet (thank goodness), lectures are interesting….. ANd many more.. thats what i Wanna thank God for… And oh yes.. Thank God for a wonderful MUMMY, HAPPY MOTHERS’ DAY!!!! and also for my dad and family.. ANd i can’t forget about my dear (who helps me with some of my assignments…shhhh.. and supports me) and my friends (KYLE once again "HAPPY BDAY") and OH YA, I also thank God for the fact that me and Bryan haven’t kill each other yet and that we are doing ok staying together….. Thats about it i think… Ok, its 3.33 am so i guess i gotta hit the sack b4 my "research" trip to the Curve at 9.
Sayonara…